What I've Learned Nursing My Son for 3.5 Years

(World Breastfeeding Week Reflection)

When I became a mom, I didn't really know what to expect when it came to breastfeeding. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how it would go with my own physical limitations. Yet because of my own health journey of living with an autoimmune disease - if there was a chance I could breastfeed to help support and build his immune system- I was going to give it my best efforts! I never had a strict goal - just to follow our rhythm and give it my best. But like so many parts of motherhood, the reality was more layered—beautiful, challenging, and full of lessons I never expected.

So in honour of the recent World Breastfeeding Week - I wanted to share what I’ve learned from this long and tender chapter. These reflections aren’t rules or “how-tos.” They’re simply my own lessons and experiences that have shaped me, softened me, and reminded me that there is no "one way" - there is only your way!

Lesson #1 - It’s not always natural at first and thats ok

Breastfeeding didn’t come easily at first. The first few weeks were filled with cracked nipples, cluster feeds, and being in a lot of pain post C-section. But ironically, I do believe that the C-Section due to my son being transverse -  gave me more time in hospital to learn and be supported by some amazing nurses. I still remember on the last morning before we left a nurse came in at like 4am - that gave me an amazing technique to help my son finish his feeds. What if I didn’t have this extra time in hospital? 

So many mamas are sent home so soon and left to figure it out on their own. And when I went home, there were challenges that still came that a few times almost ended our breastfeeding journey. But thankfully we did find the right supports during the hurdles. But some moms don’t- and many moms struggle in silence. Moms need more compassionate support, encouragement, and being reminded we aren’t alone.

Lesson #2 - Extended breastfeeding is possible — even if it’s not always visible.

3.5 years of nursing has taught me to trust what works for us, and tune out the noise and opinions. I still remember one of our first meetings with our doula, who asked us what we thought the average age around the world that children breastfeed until. We thought it had to be no more than 1-1.5 years old. 

She opened our eyes to a more global view of weaning that in many parts of the world, it’s common for children to breastfeed anywhere from 2 to 5 years — and in some accounts up to 7 years!! 

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, followed by continued breastfeeding alongside complementary foods up to at least 2 years or beyond. 

This really opened my eyes to how every journey looks different. And extended breastfeeding was possible. My goal was to give it my best and see how our journey unfolded. 

I’m still blown away by how far we made it, and I really think not having rigid expectations for myself has helped us go with the flow

Lesson #3 - Breastfeeding is more than milk.

While there are so many nutritional and health benefits of breastfeeding that last a lifetime which is what my main focus was on in the beginning, it is so much more than just that. It’s grounding and stress relieving time with your baby. It's co-regulation. It’s nervous system repair. It’s how I mothered through meltdowns, overstimulation, growth spurts, and grief. It held us—long before words could.

So why in 2025 are moms still getting side-eyes for breastfeeding toddlers? That is something I never anticipated before becoming a mom. It blows my mind that in a world full of research, and connection — we still question a mother nursing her 2- or 3-year-old. But here’s the truth:

 🤍-Breastfeeding into toddlerhood is biologically normal.

 🤍-It’s emotionally supportive for both mama and child.

 🤍-It’s a very grounding support for a child navigating big growth, sleep, emotions, or stress.

We need to stop framing extended breastfeeding as something odd or “too much”. It’s simply human. It’s love. It’s still feeding.

It’s still valid. And this isn’t to say that it’s wrong to wean before toddlerhood or whenever you need to - I totally support that! But it’s also ok if moms feel like they want to keep going.

No one else should get to decide when it ends — except you and your child.

Lesson #4 - You are allowed to meet your needs too.

Breastfeeding doesn't have to mean martyrdom. I’ve had to learn to set boundaries, adjust positions, and take breaks. After a few months, my husband would give my son a bottle once a day, we eventually used a bit of formula as well. Many times my husband would have to help me get set up in position. I couldn’t have done it all on my own.

A big hurdle came when my son was around a year old I was struggling as he was getting bigger. I was having an autoimmune (RA) flare in my wrists/arms from the way I was holding him to breastfeed even with nursing pillows. I called the Public Health Nurse/Lactation Consultant I had connected with after his birth. She came for a home visit - and thankfully showed me a new position that changed everything! She mentioned something that stuck with me - she had recently done a training for breastfeeding & disability barriers ( so glad she had!!). However the more i’ve researched- there is a big gap in the right supports for women with physical limitations/autoimmune diseases/disabilities being able to access breastfeeding adaptions. 

Our breastfeeding journey almost ended, but with this new position - I was able to feed again with more ease. I set a goal to go a few more months. Before I knew it we were at 2 years... 3 years...3.5 years. I’ve always wanted my son to be able to wean on his own. Now he only feeds to sleep - and it is the most sacred end to our day. I feel we are approaching the end, and am not sure exactly what that will look like yet, but I am so proud of this journey we’ve had together. 

It’s been so different than I ever could have anticipated. And that’s allowed me to really trust our journey and my intuition.

Lesson #5 - But It has felt lonely at times & shown me this big gap in our society

Through the ups and downs. With sleepless nights.

Without others cheering me on. My body still nourished & soothed for over 3 years. That’s something worth celebrating. 

Because the truth is -it has felt lonely at times. It’s shown me this huge gap in our society - where our culture is hyper focused on babies becoming independent, far before they’re suppose to.And people want to know when you’re ending breastfeeding instead of celebrating or encouraging your journey. There's also so much pressure on moms to bounce back and do it all -work, take care of your home, raise your kids while juggling a million balls in the air. I’ve had some people say some pretty discouraging things. And that is something I hope I can see change in this lifetime. 

This isn’t about shaming those who can’t or choose not to breastfeed- there are many variables that go into which way to feed your baby. I will never shame a mom who has to end her & babies breastfeeding journey - ever, or has other reasons that perhaps lead to formula feeding. There is no one right way.

But we also can’t shame or discourage moms who do breastfeed past the “norm”. They need support too. They really really do.